Should I send my Borderline Mum a Birthday Gift?

The question is: does someone deserve a free $40 if they've just told you to go f*ck yourself? I'd say no. She *is* your mother, so you should still send a card, but I don't think she deserves free birthday money if she's so toxic. You do need to draw boundaries with her, but this needs to be done with consistency by the whole family.